Squirrels To Join Military Combat

Well it seems the American military has given up all hope for the American people to serve and protect our land. After finding out how many American's are unfit and lazy and spend all their time worrying about things that don't matter, the US government has decided to recruit the relentless strong willed squirrel to fight in combat. Studies have shown that squirrels will fight to protect their territory and they have perfect scavenging skills to help them forage and succeed in foreign lands. They are now taking applications from squirrels, whether they're gray squirrels, red squirrels, or black squirrels. There will be no segregation of the squirrels and they will be treated just as a human is treated in combat. So next time you see a squirrel crossing in the road don't aim for it with your car, he's probably done more for this country than you have.