The End Of Vacation

Well today is the end of my 10 day forced vacation. The company I work for was shutting down for a week so we had to use forced vacation. I'm not quite sure how I feel about being forced to take a vacation. It wasn't a horrible week just would have been better if I was able to plan the vacation or even if I had gotten paid the week before the vacation so I'd have some money during it.
I spent most of my vacation just lounging around the house enjoying the fact that I didn't have to wake up at 5am to go to work. The negative side of that is that I've been staying up until 5am and sleeping until anywhere from noon to 4pm. Not saying I hate sleeping but tonight is going to be a real slap in the face when I lay down at 10, or 11, or even 12 and try to sleep. I'll probably lay in bed until around 2am until I finally fall asleep for 3 hours only to be blasted out of sleep by the alarm clock at 5am.
Here's the part I'm really not looking forward to..... going back to work! I don't HATE my job but I really don't like it anymore. The only thing that is keeping me there are the people I work with, they're good people and good friends. Well it's not the only thing keeping me there, the fact that there are no other decent paying jobs around the area that are hiring is also keeping me there. That and I need money, I can't continue living my life if I don't have a steady income. I miss one pay check or one is $100 short and I'm pretty much screwed for the month. It's hard living on such a tight budget, I'm sure I'm spending money that doesn't need to be spent somewhere. Budgeting myself to a certain "allowance" a week is a lot harder than I had ever thought. I only get paid every other week so that makes it even worse, feels like I'm making even less. Within a week that pay-check is consumed by bills or other needs such as gas and food. The little bit I spend on myself feels just like that, a little bit, and not much to show for it. I don't seem to make enough to put away and save. I need to save, I have the hardest time doing it though. I feel like everything I work for is rent, bills, food and gas. I spend a little here and a little there on something small for myself to keep myself sane. Without sanity you have insanity and that's not good. I don't want that! haha.
Well I've been dreading this Sunday since we went on vacation, and now that it's here I'm wishing time would just stop and I didn't have to go back. I don't want to go back. I need to somehow find a way to work from home. Or a job involving computers. Assembling self checkout machines was fun when I started but assembly lines doing the same 15 minute job over and over again for 10 hours a day/40 hours a week is mind numbing, painful on my feet (standing in the same spot all day long), unrewarding, and completely unsatisfying. I feel incomplete at the end of a day. I know a lot of people after work atleast feel like they did something useful, me? I feel like I just wasted away a good portion of my day, added up over days and months it's a good portion of my life.

WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!!! <---- Lost Reference
I don't want to go back though, I don't want to at all. I feel like a kid complaining about having to eat his vegetables or having to clear his plate, kicking and screaming and whining throwing things on the floor and stomping around. This is how I feel, I am not looking forward to going back. Especially now that I have NO vacation time for a while. It accrues in 3.5 hour increments every pay day (every two weeks). So I need atleast 3 pay days (over a month) to accrue 10 hours, which is one day. The worse part about it is that I only had 20 hours accrued so far and I had to borrow the other 20, so I first need to "pay back" that 20 I had to borrow for this vacation AND THEN I get to start collecting hours for time I can take off. Yes I am allowed to borrow time but I hate to do that, not saying I wont at some point this summer, but I don't want to. I have no other choice but to pay it back so it's not like I'll miss a payment or something. I just hate owing anyone anything. Kind of the reason I haven't gotten a credit card yet, although I really could use one, but I'm sure I'd screw myself over somehow if I did. ANYWAY by the end of summer I'll be able to take one day off if I'm lucky (if I wait to get caught up and don't just borrow anyway). YAY the END OF SUMMER. See that? I can't even enjoy a vacation during this summer, where I want to go fishing, hiking, swimming, camping. I want to enjoy the outdoors in the great Adirondacks of Northern NY. Sure I have 3 day weekends but it's just not the same as a full on week long vacation.

Well anyway, I needed to say all this and get it off my chest. I'll stop complaining about working now.