Friday, July 2, 2010

Working Blues

Well this past week has been one hell of a week! All week at work and even at home I felt highly depressed. I didn't feel suicidal just completely unhappy with things. Since my job allows me plenty of time to think and my work is all just muscle memory I get too much time to think and it's not necessarily a good thing. I felt unrested, which could be due to how little sleep I get on a work night. I also just felt unhappy with my job in general. I wake up go to work do the same exact thing throughout a 10 hour period. I work on an assembly line, in a spot that takes roughly 20 minutes to do the job, then I push it on and get started on the next one, doing EXACTLY the same thing again.
You think watching "How It's Made" is boring and monotonous looking, try actually doing something like it. Of course some of those episodes are interesting. That's the good thing about that show is it's not showing the same exact thing over and over again, like my job.

Anyway, with work being so boring and the fact that they just fired or laid off 2 people one of which I'm a good friend with, who also happened to be the supervisor, was laid off for restructuring of the work place. His position was no longer needed, so instead of putting him in a needed position they canned him, pretty crappy. The other guy was also needed, but I think there were other reasons that made him a good decision to let go, although we could have used him over the week. I don't think this was the major factor in what was causing my depression as I said I had plenty of time to think, 10 hours a day for 4 days. I think it was just the repetition of my job and me just feeling fed up with it, along with a worry I have about my dog's x-ray's. I haven't got the results yet, going to give the vet a call probably tomorrow.

Anyway the depression has cleared up a bit since work ended for the week yesterday at 4:30. As soon as the bell rang to go home I was instantly happy. I didn't bring my depression back home with me. Which is something I usually do, I forget about all the stress and anger at work as soon as I'm out. Not this week for some unknown reason.

As soon as I got home I sat down and played my guitar, such a great release for stress, I just couldn't bring myself to pick it up all week though. Anyway, I learned the acoustic version of the song Layla by Eric Clapton, think I've got it down pretty decently at the moment although I need to practice it a bit more.

I wasn't planning on ranting about this on here but then I was thinking, this is my blog, about me and things that interest me plus other random rambles and bits of made up humor and so on. So I figured why not post this, it'll help me just release the rest of the depressed mood and feelings and just get it out there. Luckily during this week I've had my very understanding and helpful girlfriend by my side to help cheer me up and to just understand what was going on. For that I'm thankful.


Andy D said...

Good luck with the depression. I would play the guitar more when you come home in the evening. I play the harmonica, and have found playing music is a great stress relief. Even if I play badly, I always feel better after playing.

Rhetoric Camel said...

Yeah I've been making sure to pick up the guitar, it's helped quite a bit.
I bought a harmonica about a year ago and I was practicing every day for the first month but haven't touched it since. I should get back into trying to learn it, help ease the mind. It's in the key of C. Want to try and write a song with guitar and harmonica.
Thanks for the comment Andy!